bad dream
2004-06-20 @ 2:06 p.m.

Hey ppl, how's it goin? I feel kinda bad because I missed Alyssa's party this morning...:-( I know that she really wanted me there and I really wanted to be there, but my mom wouldn't let me go. We got into an argument last night because I reminded her I was going and she got mad because today is Father's Day and she thought I needed to stay home with my Dad. I tried to tell her I wouldn't be gone but a couple of hours but noooo that wasn't OK. I hope Alyssa isn't too mad at me, :( I'll make it up on vacation I swear! LoL, I won't be as cruel as I usually would be, lol.

I got Daddy some books, and he was actually really happy. We're some book worms at my house! :) Seriously, well, I'm the worst out of all of us. I can't go to a book store without leaving with at least 2 new books, and I must say, I have quite a library. I have such a library that I haven't actually read a book for a book report in years. It's wonderful. Everybody should read books for fun, not just when you're told to! LoL, ok, well maybe that's just me. I'm weird like that.

I was watching music videos on BET earlier, and it seemed like every other video included people with SideKicks(the phones) and I was like man how come everybody has one? I never saw any of them around except for Phillip's. Now everybody has one. Even Camren Diaz. Eugh, I don't like her. Nick Lachey has one too. Copycats! LoL! They are really cool though, which is probably why people are so obsessed with them. Phillip is so attatched to his, I was shocked when he let Lyssa and I take it when we went to the library that one night at Vandy. He never gets off the frickin thing, well he does when he has to be, but during free time I think thats almost all he does. He'll be on the phone and not even talk, just sit there. In fact, I was amazed that he got off it when we were saying goodbye in the stairwell. I thought it was attatched.

I fell asleep earlier and had a dream that didn't seem like a dream. It was like an exact replication of the Thursday night in Reinke when we were at Vanderbilt. Agh, I was so mad that night. I could not get anybody in the group to pay attention except for Rashaad. I got up and left and I honestly don't think anybody noticed, but Rashaad did. He followed me, man, gotta love Rashaad. We thought about running away to Ben and Jerry's. I'm tellin ya it was taunting us b/c it was right across the street but we couldnt leave campus. I think we should of left. When we went back to Reinke we sat in the lobby and did Phillips work. He came out there and asked what we were doing and I was like, "You're work." After that I could tell he felt bad. He tried to apologize so many times but never got the chance. I think he wanted it to just be me and him but Rashaad was not leaving me for nothing because he was lookin out for me. Anytime Rashaad would leave Phil would come lay on the couch or sit beside me and just look at me for a minute and as soon as he opened his mouth Rashaad would be back. It was ok that he didn't say he was sorry. He didn't need to. I knew he was sorry and he knew I knew. We just have that connection. I honestly don't know what he'd of done if it wasn't ok. I couldn't stay mad, lol, I needed him. He was a life saver during negotiations. If I wasn't gettin something he was there to help me. Anyways. It wasn't a good dream cuz it wasn't a very good night for me.

Well enough ramblings for now. Buh byes!